Home for the Holidays OR How to put the FUN in disFUNction: An American Tale.

In today's society we have this unique phenomena. For approximately two months from the end of October to the end of December we in America plunge into a frenzy of food, shopping, family and stress, and we do this voluntarily! We try to fashion our gatherings to represent a Norman Rockwell painting, but it usually ends up looking like "The Scream" by Edvard Munch.  So in that spirit I bring you "Home for the Holidays"..starring Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning, Dylan Mc Dermott, Steve Guttenberg, Cynthia Stevenson, Claire Danes, and Geraldine Chaplin (daughter of the late, great Charlie Chaplin). This is a story, of love, regret, family and insanity....so hang on he we go kiddos!

FOLLOWING HERE THERE ARE SPOILERS...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! SO NO WHINING!

Claudia Larson, is sick...not in the perverse way....she has a cold and is looking forward to getting some rest, however this is not to be. She is unexpectedly laid off from her job at the museum, which then spontaneously turns into a make out session with her now ex-boss. Leaving this rather awkward situation, she does her mini walk-o'-shame and meets her daughter Kitt, who is taking her to the airport to fly home for Thanksgiving with the family. As Kitt is dropping her mother off she reminds Claudia to relax and just "float" (remembering a snorkeling trip the two took together), and then casually lets her mother know that she will be having sex for the first time while Claudia is away, leaving her to wander off to her flight, leaving her coat behind. Not to worry when she lands Mom has got a nice 80's style puffy housewife coat for her to wear.

Arriving at her parents house she spends the day getting settled in, counting down to T-Day. That night as she is settling in for some sleep she is interrupted by a night-vision goggle wearing prowler in her bedroom, that turns out to be her mischievous little brother Tommy. Tommy decided to surprise everyone by driving down with what appears to be his new boyfriend Leo Fish, of course begging the question throughout the whole movie what happened to Tommy's longtime partner Jack. Enter the no nonsense sister Joanne and her humorless husband Walter.  Now add into this mix the creepy depressing ex-high school-boyfriend  Russell, who Claudia's mom is trying to set her up with, and you would think you're done. OOOOOH NO, you are forgetting the crazy Aunt, c'mon we have that ONE relative, Glady. Glady is rather eccentric (that's the nice way of saying she is off her nut), who has always harbored a crush on Claudia's dad and has penchant for giving away furniture to strangers.

Now the whole motley crew is assembled and the dinner debauchery can commence. Instead of just being able to sit down to a nice dinner like the mom wanted, things rapidly spiral out of control. Mom has her traditional turkey, while Joanne insists on her Tofu Turkey, or Tofurkey being served. This escalates into one of the funniest moments of turkey on human violence I have seen since the Mr.Bean debacle of 1992.

Ok I couldn't resist since this is one of my favorite scenes in the whole movie.





After this Joanne comes out and explains why she is so upset with Tommy...he and his partner, Jack, got married, and she is embarrassed because friends of her's know. Of course Claudia is happy and now can let on that she likes Leo, who is not Tommy's date, but the business partner for Tommy's restaurant endeavors.  In a later scene Claudia treks over to her sister's house to bring leftovers and to talk things out. So while Joanne works out, refusing to stop to talk to her sister, it comes out just how unhappy she is and tells Claudia that basically if they weren't family that she would never associate with her. Claudia leaves there feeling unresolved and ready to go home. Come the next day Claudia is once more back at the airport heading home, to find that she is flying back with Leo. After some small talk looks like things may be looking a little up for her as she and Leo share a drink.

All in all I truly love this film...it has found it's way into my holiday rotation, right up there with little Ralphie and his Red Rider BB gun. It has the right mix of humor, drama, family dynamic ( granted it's REALLY a dysfunctional one), and a little bit of pathos. Robert Downey Jr.'s humor and hyperactivity is the perfect thing to put up against Holly Hunter's laid back and low key delivery. So I would say if you have been the cruel victim of the holiday massacre that is Thanksgiving this is the movie for you, and if you haven't, run out find a family and just insert yourself into the festivities...(the Management takes no responsibility for any jail time or restraining orders this may generate).

Home for the Holidays

Written by: Chris Radant and W.D. Richter (short story and screenplay respectively)

Directed by: Jodie Foster

Produced by: Jodie Foster

Starring: Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning, Dylan McDermott, Steve Guttenberg, Cynthia Stevenson, and Claire Danes

Rating: PG-13

Runtime: 103 minutes

In honor of Joanne's  Tofurkey....and because some of you have asked for a Vegetarian dish:

Vegan Tofu Turkey ( Tofurkey )

Courtesy of  Chefinyou.com

Basic Information

Prep Time: 8 hours to 1 day

Cook Time: 1 to 2 hours

Serves: 6 people

Ingredients

• For the Tofu Turkey
• 5 14-oz. tubs extra-firm tofu
• 2 tsp. ground dried thyme
• 2 tsp. rubbed sage
• 1 tsp. onion powder
• 1 tsp. garlic powder
• about 1 tsp orange zest (optional)
• salt and pepper to taste ( if you want to use vegan bouillon powder, skip the salt)
• For the Marinade
• 1/4 -1/2 cups low sodium tamari or gluten free soy sauce
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp orange juice
• 1/2 tsp sesame oil
• For the stuffing - approximate measurements, use as per taste ( original recipe in VT 35th anniversary issue, Or use your own stuffing of choice)
• about 4 cups of gluten free bread cubes ( or use oatmeal or whole wheat bread cubes)
• 1/2 cup almonds, coarsely chopped and toasted
• 1 small-medium red onion
• 1 celery stick
• 1 apple, peeled and diced ( i kept the peel)
• 1/2 tbsp fresh sage, cut into thin strips
• 1/2 tbsp chopped cilantro or parsley
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper
• 1/4 tsp ground peppercorns
• 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
• 1/2 tbsp maple syrup
• 1/2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cups dried cherries
• 1/2 cup no-salt vegetable broth or water

Method

1

Method ( Tofu Turkey - Previous night Bring the tofu to room temperature. Squeeze tofu of excess water and take small bits and place them in a processor.

2

Process them little by little until smooth.

3

Place them in a large bowl and mix all the seasoning. You can at this point even taste the tofu and add more seasoning or flavor to make sure it does not taste real bland.

4

Wet cheesecloth, wring it out and smoothly line a colander with it—no wrinkles.

5

Drop the tofu inside the colander and press it into the sides and bottom of the colander.

6

Place this colander on a plate. Bring the hanging cheesecloth on the sides into the center to cover the tofu.

7

Now place a plate right on top of the tofu and give it a slight press. Use a heavy object to place on top of the plate. This is to help the tofu drain excess water through the colander. Place this inside the refrigerator overnight (ideal time). This helps the tofu to absorb the seasoning well too.

8

Method (On day of making the tofu turkey) - For the Stuffing I eyeballed most of the ingredients, so use your discretion when preparing them. Place the cubed bread cubes on a baking sheet and bake them in a preheated 225F oven for 20-30 minutes or until dry and crisp.

9

Meanwhile, heat a skillet. Add about 1 tsp oil and saute the onions and cook for 3-4 minutes or until soft. Add celery and saute for 2 minutes more.

10

Stir in the apples along with other seasonings. Cook for 5 minutes. Add maple syrup and the vinegar and remove from heat.

11

Combine the bread cubes along with apple mixture. Stir in almonds and dried cherries. Transfer to a greased baking sheet and pour broth over the top. Cover with foil and bake for 20-30 minutes or until the stuffing begins to brown on top. You can make a crisp filling by removing the foil and baking for 10 minutes more.

12

Method - For the Marinade Mix all the ingredients for the under the marinade until combined.

13

Method - For the Assembly Preheat oven to 375F. Drain the Tofu water from the plate on which you placed the colander.

14

Remove weight and plate from colander.

15

Now scoop some tofu from the center. Make sure to leave at least 1-2 inches on the sides and bottom.

16

Now fill this hollow with the stuffing.

17

Now top the stuffing with the scooped out tofu.

18

Make sure to smooth the surface and level it out.

19

Place a large oven to table baking sheet (I used a pie plate large enough to cover the colander opening) on top of the colander.

20

Hold tightly, and slowly invert colander onto the plate so that tofu-turkey drops gently onto dish.

21

Now slowly remove the cheesecloth from the tofu.

22

Can you see the white dome now?

23

Baste the tofu turkey with the prepared marinade.

24

Bake for 15 minutes.

25

Baste again. reduce the heat to 350F and bake for another 1 hour, basting as many times it strikes your fancy.

26

Once baked, you see a beautifully crisped tofu surface.
The most amazing after effects of this meal with striking similarities to the real thing -
1) We felt full in matter of minutes. The tofu protein did it.
2) The crust was crispy and meaty inside. The stuffing added amazing combo to the tofu. A few bites of the orange and apple in the middle (which I placed as a garnish) also went v well with this tofurkey.
3) We had LEFTOVERS and lots of them
But one advantage over the real turkey would be low calorie content comparatively me thinks

C