Foxy Brown or Humina Humina Humina!

Take a slain undercover agent,his hot girlfriend swearing revenge by becoming an undercover hooker, gangsters, guns, cars and funky music...roll them together and what do you get? Foxy Brown!!! Originally meant to be a sequel of Coffy, the studio decided at the last minute that they didn't want to do a sequel, which is really puzzling since Coffy was a big hit. This movie has something for most audiences, and still holds up great today.

In an era where few films had a strong woman lead in an action film, this movie is a standout. Pam Grier in my opinion delivers an amazing performance. I remember the first time seeing this movie I was completely blown away, and it just seems to get better and better every time I see it. ( Not to mention that Pam Grier is so very hot in the movie) So anyone someone asks me for a great blaxpoitation action film I make sure this is at the top of the list. So my suggestion for this holiday season, run out and get this...granted it really doesn't have anything to do with the holidays, but it has Pam Grier (did I mention she's hot in this).

Foxy Brown

Directed by: Jack Hill
Written by: Jack Hill
Starring: Pam Grier, Antonio Fargas, and Peter Brown
Rated: R
Runtime: 94 minutes

The Black Hole...or Even Disney Can Be Dark

The year was 1979...Star Wars has already happened, Star Trek is coming out with the new movie, and Disney is in a slump. Ok granted this part of the story did happen before 1979...but anyway, we'll just pretend alright.  Sci-fi was coming to the forefront again and there was movie money to be made. Disney had yet to enter it's new era of the blockbuster animated film, and it's fans were growing up, so the decision was to make the first non-all-ages movie from Disney. The "Black Hole" is not your typical Disney movie. There are no talking animals, princesses who sing, or even a totally happy ending. Here we have death, dismemberment, "Zombies", robots, Heaven and Hell...even some language...super mild by today's standards, but before this, COMPLETELY unheard of in a Disney film. So grab your blaster, strap in and let's head down the hole.

 

THERE ARE SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT....YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...NO WHINING OR WE THROW YOU OUT AN AIRLOCK!

 

We join the USS Palomino, in the year 2130,  heading home after a lengthy deep space exploration mission. On the crew we have Capt. Dan Holland, Lt. Charlie Pizer, Dr. Kate McCrae (by the way...she's also psychic), Dr. Alex Durant, reporter Harry Booth, and V.I.N.CENT (Vital Information Necessary CENTralized) , he's a robot voiced by Roddy McDowall by the way.

As they are heading back they find a black hole that has ship stationary on it's edge, somehow avoiding being sucked into the gaping maw. Further scans find that this is the USS Cygnus that went missing many years ago...oh and this is also the ship that Kate's father Frank McCrae served on. So of course you have to follow formula and they decide to check out the "ghost" ship. ::insert creepy Scooby-Doo music here::

Our intrepid crew docks and comes aboard to find Dr. Hans Reinhardt (Maximillian Schell), his crew of faceless "drones", robots, and the android bodyguard Maximillian. Reinhardt tells our heroes that the ship was disabled so he sent the crew back to Earth, but Kate's father stayed behind and has since died. Reinhardt explains that he has been studying the black hole for years and intends to fly the Cygnus though it. Durant is the only one who thinks this is possible, crazy right?!? But then again Durant is played by every one's favorite psycho Anthony Perkins.

The rest of the crew spends their time exploring the old ship...seeeeeeeee JUST like Scooby-Doo. They witness some rather odd things like drones limping, a drone "funeral", and the crew's quarters full of old personal belongings. B.O.B. (Bio-sanitation Battalion), a robot very similar to V.I.N.CENT just an older model, and who is more beat up more than that first 200.00 car you drove in high school, explains to the heroes that the "drones" are actually the original crew who never left but were actually lobotomized.  B.O.B. (who is voiced by Slim Pickens) reveals that the crew mutinied when Reinhardt revealed his "Mad Scientist" plan to fly into the black hole. It is also revealed that Kate's dad led the rebellion and was killed.  V.I.N.CENT. tells Kate via telepathy ( I know...just go with it, ok) all of this. Kate then tells Durant who removes a "drone"'s faceplate revealing the withered"zombie" crew member. Durant and Kate try to flee and Maximillian kills Durant, by the most bloodless evisceration EVER, and Kate is taken to be lobotomized.

Captain Holland ( Robert Forster) rescues Kate (Yvette Mimieux) at the last minute, Harry Booth (Ernest Borgnine) panics and attempts to flee in the Palomino but is shot down by the Cygnus. This causes the Palomino to crash into the Cygnus damaging it's port side gravity nullifier, and then to add insult to injury a random meteor storm takes out the starboard side one. Now without being able to nullify the gravity from the black hole the Cygnus is beginning to be pulled in and pulled apart.

 

Our remaining crew, Holland, Pizer, McCrae, V.I.N.CENT., and B.O.B. head to a pre-programmed probe-ship to escape. Reinhardt is thinking the same thing and sends Maximillian to stop them. Reinhardt ends up being pinned by falling debris in the bridge, while his "drones" work on and ignore his plight. Maximillian tries to stop the crew, and cripples B.O.B. before V.I.N.CENT. cripples him. Maximillian is sucked out of the ship and is last seen drifting off into space. The crew and V.I.N.CENT make it to the probe and find out it is pre-programmed to fly into the black hole.

The epilogue of the film has no dialogue as the crew enters the hole. They (and we) are shown scenes via Kate's ESP of Heaven and Hell. First they travel through Hell as they see Reinhardt and Maximillian  merge into one being, while standing on top of a huge rock, above a fiery landscape that appears to be populated with the "drones". Next, they enter Heaven....a crystal church-like tunnel with a floating "Angel". Finally they come out the other side of a "white hole" near a star and a planet. The movie ends here showing the probe heading towards the planet.

This has been a favorite of mine since it came out, I was 10 at the time ( this will be our secret, ok?). I first saw this on the big screen, and then later we owned it on Beta-max (for you young-un's out there Beta was what lost out to VHS, kinda like Blu-ray and HD DVD's), and then later on VHS. I honestly can't remember how many times I have seen this movie, and it never seems to lose it's charm for me. I have as of yet to acquire it on DVD, but I guarantee I will one day and will probably find a way to wear out the DVD. This really was groundbreaking for Disney, they showed here with this movie that they could run with the "big boys" and make movies other than kiddie cartoons. I honestly believe that if it were not for this film we would not have had cult hits like "Tron", "The Watcher in the Woods" or "Dragonslayer". I know today these seem like nothing, but back in 1979 this was really the "loss" of Disney's "innocence" as they grew-up and moved on into the "real world". If you can find this one, pick it up and watch it, I really think you won't be disappointed.

The Black Hole
Written by: Jeb Rosebrook and Bob Barbash
Directed by: Gary Nelson
Starring:  Maximillian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Yvetter Mimieux, Ernest Brognine, Roddy McDowall, and Slim Pickens
Rated: PG
Runtime: 98 minutes

This just seems fitting as accompaniment to the movie:

Dark Chocolate Mousse

Ingredients:

4 1/2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped

2 tablespoons (1 ounce) unsalted butter, diced

2 tablespoons espresso or hot water

1 cup cold heavy cream

3 large eggs, separated

1 tablespoon sugar

Preparation: Combine the chocolate, butter, and espresso in the top of a double boiler over hot, but not simmering, water, stirring frequently until smooth. Remove from the heat and let cool until the chocolate is just slightly warmer than body temperature. To test, dab some chocolate on your bottom lip. It should feel warm. If it is too cool, the mixture will seize when the other ingredients are added.

Meanwhile, whip the cream to soft peaks, then refrigerate. Once the melted chocolate has cooled slightly, whip the egg whites in a medium bowl until they are foamy and beginning to hold a shape. Sprinkle in the sugar and beat until soft peaks form.

When the chocolate has reached the proper temperature, stir in the yolks. Gently stir in about one-third of the whipped cream. Fold in half the whites just until incorporated, then fold in the remaining whites, and finally the remaining whipped cream.

Spoon or pipe the mousse into a serving bowl or individual dishes. Refrigerate for at least 8 hours. (The mousse can be refrigerated for up to a day.)

or if you prefer liquid refreshment.......

Black Hole recipe

1/3 oz Bacardi 151 rum
1/3 oz Chartreuse herbal liqueur (strongest available)
1/3 oz Black Sambuca

Add your 151 and Chartreuse first then gently add the Sambuca. It will sit at the bottom whilst the 151 and chart' cloud it with a hazy look.. looking down at the shot looks like a misty black hole.

Santa's Slay or Seriously You Better Watch Out....

Take one son of Satan, make him lose a wager (a curling match to be exact), with an angel. So as punishment for losing he is forced for the next 1000 years to hand out gifts and presents to children. So here we are at Hell Township, modern day, and Santa is getting himself a little payback. Flying through town on his rocket propelled sleigh with killer "reindeer" (it's actually an ox), Santa proceeds to kill anyone and everyone in the most festive of Yuletide ways, making use of ornaments, eggnog, candy canes and all that ilk. All of this culminates in a great showdown with a twist that is really not that surprising if you're paying attention.

All in All I LOVE this film! It is one that you need to go into realising it is a Black Comedy/ Horror movie that has as much enjoyment in making fun of itself as it does giving winks to the film/TV buffs in the audience. This movie made a huge selling point by having one of the most famous Jewish wrestlers out there to play Santa, and he is perfect here. If you watch closely you will see other big named Jewish actors in the movie as well including :  James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and Rebecca Gayheart. This movie has gone down as a definite one in my Holiday rotation. so next time you and the family get together for Holiday get together pop this one in, get your cookies, and enjoy!

Written by:Dave Steinman
Directed by: Dave Steinman
Starring: Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie de Ravin
Rated : R
Runtime: 78 minutes

The Machinist or How One Moment Can Change Everything

Trevor Reznik (played by Christian Bale) hasn't slept in over a year. He works in a factory as a lathe operator, and seems to be something of a loner. The other coworkers don't trust him, and then eventually turn on him, due to him causing a coworker to lose an arm in a machine accident. Trevor slowly has been spiraling into madness over the last year. Losing weight, hallucinating and becoming paranoid at the possibility that his coworkers are out to get him. All of this culminates in an ending that will shock and amaze you.

This movie in my opinion is truly on of Bales' greatest films. Starving himself to lose over 60 pounds for this movie, he creates a character that truly is haunting to look at and whose behaviors really show you the depth of madness guilt can create. I am really surprised as to how many people have never seen or even heard of this movie. I absolutely believe if you haven't seen this one, go out this very second, and find it!

Eve of Destruction or Don't Build a Robot if You Have Issues

This story follows the (mis)adventures of Gergory Hines as Colonel Jim McQuade , who has been tasked with stopping an evil robot. Ok so I'll back it up just a bit. Dr. Eve Simmons  played by Renee Soutendijk, and by the way she also plays the Robot Eve VIII. Basically it's your man-hating scientist is commissioned by the government to make a robot. She makes said robot to look like her and gives it all her memories...including the " Johnny just dumped me he's a douche" memories. Now give her a self-preservation mode, hatred of humans, super strenght...oh and I forgot to mention a NUKE in her belly. Needless to say she goes hay-wire, Gregory Hines has to stop her, she kills anyone who tries to kill her and will set off the Nuke if you really piss her off! All in all...to me screams cheap Terminator plot but is a great movie for BAD movie night...other wise MEH! (and yes I said MEH) Oh and by the way not ONE dance number from Mr. Hines!

Written by:Duncan Gibbins and Yale Udoff
Directed by: Duncan Gibbins
Starring: Gregory Hines, Renee Soutendijik, Michael Greene
Runtime: 99 minutes
Rated R

Home for the Holidays OR How to put the FUN in disFUNction: An American Tale.

In today's society we have this unique phenomena. For approximately two months from the end of October to the end of December we in America plunge into a frenzy of food, shopping, family and stress, and we do this voluntarily! We try to fashion our gatherings to represent a Norman Rockwell painting, but it usually ends up looking like "The Scream" by Edvard Munch.  So in that spirit I bring you "Home for the Holidays"..starring Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning, Dylan Mc Dermott, Steve Guttenberg, Cynthia Stevenson, Claire Danes, and Geraldine Chaplin (daughter of the late, great Charlie Chaplin). This is a story, of love, regret, family and insanity....so hang on he we go kiddos!

FOLLOWING HERE THERE ARE SPOILERS...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! SO NO WHINING!

Claudia Larson, is sick...not in the perverse way....she has a cold and is looking forward to getting some rest, however this is not to be. She is unexpectedly laid off from her job at the museum, which then spontaneously turns into a make out session with her now ex-boss. Leaving this rather awkward situation, she does her mini walk-o'-shame and meets her daughter Kitt, who is taking her to the airport to fly home for Thanksgiving with the family. As Kitt is dropping her mother off she reminds Claudia to relax and just "float" (remembering a snorkeling trip the two took together), and then casually lets her mother know that she will be having sex for the first time while Claudia is away, leaving her to wander off to her flight, leaving her coat behind. Not to worry when she lands Mom has got a nice 80's style puffy housewife coat for her to wear.

Arriving at her parents house she spends the day getting settled in, counting down to T-Day. That night as she is settling in for some sleep she is interrupted by a night-vision goggle wearing prowler in her bedroom, that turns out to be her mischievous little brother Tommy. Tommy decided to surprise everyone by driving down with what appears to be his new boyfriend Leo Fish, of course begging the question throughout the whole movie what happened to Tommy's longtime partner Jack. Enter the no nonsense sister Joanne and her humorless husband Walter.  Now add into this mix the creepy depressing ex-high school-boyfriend  Russell, who Claudia's mom is trying to set her up with, and you would think you're done. OOOOOH NO, you are forgetting the crazy Aunt, c'mon we have that ONE relative, Glady. Glady is rather eccentric (that's the nice way of saying she is off her nut), who has always harbored a crush on Claudia's dad and has penchant for giving away furniture to strangers.

Now the whole motley crew is assembled and the dinner debauchery can commence. Instead of just being able to sit down to a nice dinner like the mom wanted, things rapidly spiral out of control. Mom has her traditional turkey, while Joanne insists on her Tofu Turkey, or Tofurkey being served. This escalates into one of the funniest moments of turkey on human violence I have seen since the Mr.Bean debacle of 1992.

Ok I couldn't resist since this is one of my favorite scenes in the whole movie.





After this Joanne comes out and explains why she is so upset with Tommy...he and his partner, Jack, got married, and she is embarrassed because friends of her's know. Of course Claudia is happy and now can let on that she likes Leo, who is not Tommy's date, but the business partner for Tommy's restaurant endeavors.  In a later scene Claudia treks over to her sister's house to bring leftovers and to talk things out. So while Joanne works out, refusing to stop to talk to her sister, it comes out just how unhappy she is and tells Claudia that basically if they weren't family that she would never associate with her. Claudia leaves there feeling unresolved and ready to go home. Come the next day Claudia is once more back at the airport heading home, to find that she is flying back with Leo. After some small talk looks like things may be looking a little up for her as she and Leo share a drink.

All in all I truly love this film...it has found it's way into my holiday rotation, right up there with little Ralphie and his Red Rider BB gun. It has the right mix of humor, drama, family dynamic ( granted it's REALLY a dysfunctional one), and a little bit of pathos. Robert Downey Jr.'s humor and hyperactivity is the perfect thing to put up against Holly Hunter's laid back and low key delivery. So I would say if you have been the cruel victim of the holiday massacre that is Thanksgiving this is the movie for you, and if you haven't, run out find a family and just insert yourself into the festivities...(the Management takes no responsibility for any jail time or restraining orders this may generate).

Home for the Holidays

Written by: Chris Radant and W.D. Richter (short story and screenplay respectively)

Directed by: Jodie Foster

Produced by: Jodie Foster

Starring: Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning, Dylan McDermott, Steve Guttenberg, Cynthia Stevenson, and Claire Danes

Rating: PG-13

Runtime: 103 minutes

In honor of Joanne's  Tofurkey....and because some of you have asked for a Vegetarian dish:

Vegan Tofu Turkey ( Tofurkey )

Courtesy of  Chefinyou.com

Basic Information

Prep Time: 8 hours to 1 day

Cook Time: 1 to 2 hours

Serves: 6 people

Ingredients

• For the Tofu Turkey
• 5 14-oz. tubs extra-firm tofu
• 2 tsp. ground dried thyme
• 2 tsp. rubbed sage
• 1 tsp. onion powder
• 1 tsp. garlic powder
• about 1 tsp orange zest (optional)
• salt and pepper to taste ( if you want to use vegan bouillon powder, skip the salt)
• For the Marinade
• 1/4 -1/2 cups low sodium tamari or gluten free soy sauce
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp orange juice
• 1/2 tsp sesame oil
• For the stuffing - approximate measurements, use as per taste ( original recipe in VT 35th anniversary issue, Or use your own stuffing of choice)
• about 4 cups of gluten free bread cubes ( or use oatmeal or whole wheat bread cubes)
• 1/2 cup almonds, coarsely chopped and toasted
• 1 small-medium red onion
• 1 celery stick
• 1 apple, peeled and diced ( i kept the peel)
• 1/2 tbsp fresh sage, cut into thin strips
• 1/2 tbsp chopped cilantro or parsley
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper
• 1/4 tsp ground peppercorns
• 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
• 1/2 tbsp maple syrup
• 1/2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cups dried cherries
• 1/2 cup no-salt vegetable broth or water

Method

1

Method ( Tofu Turkey - Previous night Bring the tofu to room temperature. Squeeze tofu of excess water and take small bits and place them in a processor.

2

Process them little by little until smooth.

3

Place them in a large bowl and mix all the seasoning. You can at this point even taste the tofu and add more seasoning or flavor to make sure it does not taste real bland.

4

Wet cheesecloth, wring it out and smoothly line a colander with it—no wrinkles.

5

Drop the tofu inside the colander and press it into the sides and bottom of the colander.

6

Place this colander on a plate. Bring the hanging cheesecloth on the sides into the center to cover the tofu.

7

Now place a plate right on top of the tofu and give it a slight press. Use a heavy object to place on top of the plate. This is to help the tofu drain excess water through the colander. Place this inside the refrigerator overnight (ideal time). This helps the tofu to absorb the seasoning well too.

8

Method (On day of making the tofu turkey) - For the Stuffing I eyeballed most of the ingredients, so use your discretion when preparing them. Place the cubed bread cubes on a baking sheet and bake them in a preheated 225F oven for 20-30 minutes or until dry and crisp.

9

Meanwhile, heat a skillet. Add about 1 tsp oil and saute the onions and cook for 3-4 minutes or until soft. Add celery and saute for 2 minutes more.

10

Stir in the apples along with other seasonings. Cook for 5 minutes. Add maple syrup and the vinegar and remove from heat.

11

Combine the bread cubes along with apple mixture. Stir in almonds and dried cherries. Transfer to a greased baking sheet and pour broth over the top. Cover with foil and bake for 20-30 minutes or until the stuffing begins to brown on top. You can make a crisp filling by removing the foil and baking for 10 minutes more.

12

Method - For the Marinade Mix all the ingredients for the under the marinade until combined.

13

Method - For the Assembly Preheat oven to 375F. Drain the Tofu water from the plate on which you placed the colander.

14

Remove weight and plate from colander.

15

Now scoop some tofu from the center. Make sure to leave at least 1-2 inches on the sides and bottom.

16

Now fill this hollow with the stuffing.

17

Now top the stuffing with the scooped out tofu.

18

Make sure to smooth the surface and level it out.

19

Place a large oven to table baking sheet (I used a pie plate large enough to cover the colander opening) on top of the colander.

20

Hold tightly, and slowly invert colander onto the plate so that tofu-turkey drops gently onto dish.

21

Now slowly remove the cheesecloth from the tofu.

22

Can you see the white dome now?

23

Baste the tofu turkey with the prepared marinade.

24

Bake for 15 minutes.

25

Baste again. reduce the heat to 350F and bake for another 1 hour, basting as many times it strikes your fancy.

26

Once baked, you see a beautifully crisped tofu surface.
The most amazing after effects of this meal with striking similarities to the real thing -
1) We felt full in matter of minutes. The tofu protein did it.
2) The crust was crispy and meaty inside. The stuffing added amazing combo to the tofu. A few bites of the orange and apple in the middle (which I placed as a garnish) also went v well with this tofurkey.
3) We had LEFTOVERS and lots of them
But one advantage over the real turkey would be low calorie content comparatively me thinks

C

It's LEGEND or Meg's 101 Ways to Cook a Foul Tasting Fairy

Take Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry,  and Ridley Scott...add a dose of unicorns, fairies, elves, latent sexual overtones, cannibalism, and a pinch of Hell...shake well, bake at 350 for 30 minutes and what do you get? Unabashed Awesome on a plate!!! Yes kiddies we are talking Legend this week, sleeper in the theaters, fan fav in home releases, and if you have not seen it you better stop here because I am going to spoil the hell out of this one in 3....2....1.......

This is the story of Lili and Jack. Lili is the local princess of the realms, who likes to sneak out to the forest to be with her love, the forest boy, Jack. Jack who has been raised by the creatures of the forest decides he is going to take Lili to see the last two of the Unicorns. At the same time Darkness conspires to bring unending night to the world so sends out his top goblin Blix to kill the "ugly one-horned mules". The Unicorns show up and Lili despite Jack's protests touches one of them, making them vulnerable to Blix's secret attack. Blix takes the horn from one of the Unicorns and after some goblin games gives it to his master Darkness.

Darkness in the meantime has taken a fancy to our princess and captures her and brings her to his realm, as well as bringing the remaining Unicorn (planning on making the earlier his wife and the latter his sacrifice to bring darkness to the world).  Meanwhile, in the forest Jack is admonished by Gump for his foolishness in the name of love. So Gump, Oona the fairy and a merry band of drunken dwarves head out to get Jack suited up in armor and weapons to confront Darkness.

Lili meantime is being wooed by Darkness, in a very memorable scene, tempting her with food, drink, and baubles. Reminiscent of the Hades/Persephone myth, Darkness knows if he gets Lili to imbibe she is his. Lili refuses but in the end says she will be his if only he will let her kill the last Unicorn.



Jack and his merry band make their way through hell and concoct a plan to reflect light from the surface into the darkness to defeat Darkness (yes one is a condition the other is a proper noun). So as Lili fakes that she is going to sacrifice the Unicorn, Jack brings light in. Lili frees the Unicorn and Darkness is cast down, Lili brings the severed horn to the first Unicorn and it magically bonds back, healing it and the world is saved.

 

All in all this film still rates as one of my favorites. Despite the big names it amazes me how few people know this film exists, I would definitely recommend this one. The performances given by Mia Sara and Tom Cruise are very well done, both at this time were not very big stars, but Tim Curry as Darkness steals the show, this is definitely one of his best performances. There are two versions of this floating out there: a re-issue with the soundtrack by Jerry Goldsmith and the original with a soundtrack by Tangerine Dream, both have their merits but I prefer the original myself. I suggest if you have not seen this one try and find it as soon as possible.

 

Legend

Written by: William Hjortsberg

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Produced by: Joseph P. Grace

Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, and Tim Curry

Rating: PG

Runtime: 94 minutes (114 minutes Director's Cut)

 

Lucky you! You get two recipes this time...food and drink to wash it down with:

 

 

Bête Noire (or the smaller “Heart of Darkness” Chocolate Cakes)

(from Lora Brody’s Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet)

Preparation: 15 minutes

Baking time: 30 minutes (approx.

20 min for the smaller cakes)

Serves: 12 (or 16 heart-shaped cakes. )

Ingredients

8 ounces unsweetened chocolate, broken in small pieces

4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, broken in small pieces

1 1/3 cups superfine sugar

1/2 cup water

2 sticks (8 ounces) sweet (unsalted) butter, at room temperature, cut into 10 chunks

5 extra large eggs, at room temperature

Directions

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees with the rack in the center position. Lightly grease a 9″ layer cake pan and then line the bottom with a 9″ circle of parchment. Lightly grease the parchment. Set the cake pan in a jelly roll pan or roasting pan.

By hand:

Combine one cup of the sugar and the water in a medium sized saucepan and, stirring occasionally, cook over moderate heat until the sugar dissolves and the mixture comes to a vigorous boil. Turn off the heat and immediately add the chocolate to the boiling syrup and stir until it is completely dissolved.

Stir in the butter, one chunk at a time, stirring until each chunk is incorporated before adding the next.

Beat the eggs together with the remaining 1/3 cup of sugar until they are foamy and slightly thickened and then whisk them into the chocolate beating well to incorporate all the ingredients.

Pour and scrape the mixture into the prepared pan and level the batter with a rubber scraper.

Place the chocolate in the work bowl of a food processor. Crack the eggs into a spouted cup. Combine the 1 1/3 cups sugar and the water in a saucepan and stirring occasionally, cook over moderate heat until the sugar dissolves and the mixture comes to a vigorous boil. Pour the boiling syrup over the chocolate, cover the processor with the feed tube in place and process for about 12 seconds or until the chocolate is completely melted and the mixture smooth. With the machine on add the butter a chunk at a time, then add the eggs. Process for an additional 15 seconds.

Pour and scrape the batter into the prepared pan, leveling the top with a rubber scraper.

To Bake:
Place the cake pan and jelly roll (or roasting pan) in the oven and pour hot water to the depth of about one inch into the larger pan.

Bake the cake for exactly thirty minutes (about 20 minutes for the Heart of Darkness cakes). The top will have a thin dry crust on top, but the inside will be very moist. Carefully remove the cake pan from the oven (leave the water bath until it cools).

Cover the top of the cake with a piece of plastic wrap. Invert the cake onto a flat plate or cookie sheet. Peel off the parchment. Cover with a light, flat plate and immediately invert again.

Serves 12.

Cherry Sauce

Ingredients
1 cup fresh cherries, stemmed and pitted
3/4 cup water
1/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tbsp bourbon

Directions
Place water and cherries in a pot and set heat to medium. Let this come to a boil and then add the sugar. Raise temperature to high and cook for three minutes, constantly stirring as to make sure it does not burn. Lower heat to a simmer and let cook for eight minutes, stirring frequently. Add vanilla and bourbon, stir and cook for one minute. Add more sugar if needed. Otherwise, turn off heat and let the sauce cool (it will also thicken a bit more at this point).

 

Unicorn Cocktail Recipe

Ingredients :

- 2 parts irish cream (bailey's)

- 1 part brandy

- 1 part coffee liqueur (tia maria,kahlua)

- 1 part vodka

- 1 dash orange liqueur (cointreau, grand marnier...)

- 1 dash melon liqueur (midori, melloni...)

- 2 parts milk

---

Use a "Shaker" for Unicorn drink recipe

Pour all ingredients into cocktail shaker, shake & strain into martini glass or champagne cup. Garnish with red straws & tacky plastic animals (preferably horses or mermaids) Add parasols & slice of orange if available.
Serve in "Cocktail Glass" Garnish: No
Ingredients: Irish cream (Bailey's). brandy. coffee liqueur (Tia Maria,Kahlua). vodka. orange liqueur (cointreau, grand marnier...). melon liqueur (Midori, Melloni...). milk.













Brotherhood of the Wolf or Nothing to Huff and Puff About

This little gem is based on the true story of the Beast of the Gevaudan that terrorized France during the 18th century. With over 100 victims claimed the King sends out help to this poor area in hopes to stop having his subjects turned into Kibbles-n-Bits. Filmed on a budget of $29,000,000.00,  this came in at the end with a box office total of  $70,752,904 (worldwide), and has become a cult favorite in some areas. Beautifully shot, with some great action scenes,(and a slightly confusing storyline sometimes), I would definitely recommend watching this one, it's not your typical Werewolf flick.

Written by: Stephane Cabel               
Directed by: Christophe Gans
Starring: Samuel Le Bihan, Mark Dacascos, and Vincent Cassel
Runtime: 152 minutes
Rated: R

Scream Blacula, Scream..or Blacula Is One Bad Mutha...Shut yo' Mouth!

Filmed in 1973 at the height of the Blaxploitation film, a direct sequel to the 1972 hit "Blacula". This gem is full of horror, 70's goodness, and ass-kicking, not to mention voodoo, pimps getting their butts kicked, AND PAM GRIER! William Marshall starring in the title role brings character and a type of elegance this movie needs. This is one that if you have not seen it then I would say rush out and get it, you won't be disappointed.

 

Written by: Joan Torres, Raymond Koenig, and Maurice Jules
Directed by: Bob Kelljan
Starring: William Marshall, Don Mitchell, and Pam Grier
Runtime: 96 minutes
Rated: PG

Black Sheep...where men are men and sheep are afraid!

WARNING: Here be spoilers ...go watch the movie...or just enjoy the ride...and then watch the movie!

Picture lush lands of green rolling hills. Picture gentle flocks of sheep frolicking, eating, doing sheep stuff. Now picture them as blood thirsty monsters...better yet picture them as smart, bloodthirsty, zombie sheep. God hope you don't get bitten, then you will slowly and painfully change into a bloodthirsty Were-Sheep. Bullets help, letting them drive helps, Mint Jelly burns them like holy water on a Vampire. And yes there is even a love story..sort of. There you have it...it's up to a small band of brave New Zealanders to save this farm and in turn THE WORLD.

 

Oldfield Farm..where Harry and Angus spent their childhood learning the family trade of raising and caring for God's gentlest creatures.  Harry is the golden child, winning awards, handling the raising of the sheep better and all around looking like he will be taking over the farm , instead of his older brother Angus. So Angus decides one day to get back at his little brother...by slaughtering Harry's pet sheep and wearing the carcass.

 

Fast forward a few years Harry (Nathan Meister) is returning to the farm he left. Angus (Peter Feeny) has taken over and is buying Harry out...of course Harry is more than fine with this, he has suffered from crippling fear of sheep since Angus' prank.

 

Of course we find that Angus behind the scenes has been doing a bit of genetic experimenting (that is NEVER good), to create the perfect lamb. He has hired the notorious, and very cocky, Dr.Rush (Tandi Wright), as his "Dr. Frankenstein".  Of course there is the inevitable lab accident, as a jar of a mutated sheep fetus is dropped, and this little bugger crawls his undead butt off into the woods.

Enter our Earth-Mother, peace loving, vegan activists...Grant (Oliver Driver) and Experience (Danielle Mason). These two want to of course shut down the big bad sheep farm and sneak on the farm to get evidence against Angus. One thing leads to another and these two get separated, after Grant was bit by our little undead fetus friend...remember him? And hilarity ensues....







Our little friend has been busy, his bites infect you with the zombie sheep disease, that was inadvertently created, and crawls on to find his next victim. First he bites Grant, who leaves his vegan lifestyle now to snack on bunny rabbits,as he begins to turn into a Were-sheep. Then our little bundle of woolly hell nips a couple of sheep, they nip a couple of friends, and they nip a couple of friends, and they nip a couple of friends, and so on....and soon everyone is running for their lives from blood thirsty cannibal zombie sheep (wow, never in my life did I think I would type those words in one sentence). 

So while our intrepid heroes...Harry and Experience are trying to save their skins...and in turn the world, with the help of the family housekeeper, Mrs. Mac (Glenis Levestam). Angus has been preparing for a meeting with sheep investors from around the globe, hide his experiments, and clean up the bite he receives on his hand. Those of us experienced in this genre know NONE of these things is going to work. 

 



 This of course brings us to the third act and the final showdowns (yes there is more than one). Harry fights off a 6 foot Were-sheep Grant, with the help of mint jelly, which burns our evil sheep creatures like holy water, and Experiences deadly acupuncture skills. Harry, Experience, and Mrs. Mac try and barricade themselves in the house while the sheep attack in a scene that is obviously a homage to "Night of the Living Dead", and Angus leaves to take his new "girlfriend" (see above pic), and spread his sheepy love to the world at large.

 

Harry, now having been bitten, rushes off to stop his brother in a fight worthy of Ali and Frazier, if they were sheep......all ends well sort of...Angus gets his just desserts, Harry is cured, the evil sheep destroyed, and Experience gets to find out what "Mountain Oysters" are. The world is once more safe from sheep...or is it?



All in all I really had a fun time with this movie. It took a original premise, mashed up with obvious tributes to some great zombie tropes, and came out the other end with something new, in a genre that can sometimes get very overdone. I would recommend this as a great get together film for people who love horror or zombie films, and even for those who love a good comedy, or both. I can honestly say this one is not BAAAAAAd and worth it's weight in wool (sorry about that folks...couldn't resist myself).

Black Sheep

Written by: Johnathan King

Directed by: Jonathan King

Produced by: Phillippa Campbell

Rating: NR

Runtime: 87 minutes

 

This recipe seemed fitting for those of us trying to save the world from the evil that is known as Mutton:

 

Rosemary Braised Lamb Shanks 

 



 

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READY IN2½ hrs

 

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Ingredients 

Original recipe makes 6 servings

Makes servings USMetricAdjust Recipe (Help)

• 6lamb shanks
• salt and pepper to taste
• 2 tablespoonsolive oil
• 2onions, chopped
• 3 largecarrots, cut into 1/4 inch rounds
• 10 clovesgarlic, minced
• 1 (750 milliliter) bottlered wine
• 1 (28 ounce) canwhole peeled tomatoes with juice
• 1 (10.5 ounce) cancondensed chicken broth
• 1 (10.5 ounce) canbeef broth
• 5 teaspoonschopped fresh rosemary
• 2 teaspoonschopped fresh thyme

Directions

1. Sprinkle shanks with salt and pepper. Heat oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Working in batches, cook shanks until brown on all sides, about 8 minutes. Transfer shanks to plate.
2. Add onions, carrots and garlic to pot and saute until golden brown, about 10 minutes. Stir in wine, tomatoes, chicken broth and beef broth. Season with rosemary and thyme. Return shanks to pot, pressing down to submerge. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Cover, and simmer until meat is tender, about 2 hours.
3. Remove cover from pot. Simmer about 20 minutes longer. Transfer shanks to platter, place in a warm oven. Boil juices in pot until thickened, about 15 minutes. Spoon over shanks.