Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Brotherhood of the Wolf or Nothing to Huff and Puff About

This little gem is based on the true story of the Beast of the Gevaudan that terrorized France during the 18th century. With over 100 victims claimed the King sends out help to this poor area in hopes to stop having his subjects turned into Kibbles-n-Bits. Filmed on a budget of $29,000,000.00,  this came in at the end with a box office total of  $70,752,904 (worldwide), and has become a cult favorite in some areas. Beautifully shot, with some great action scenes,(and a slightly confusing storyline sometimes), I would definitely recommend watching this one, it's not your typical Werewolf flick.
Written by: Stephane Cabel               
Directed by: Christophe Gans
Starring: Samuel Le Bihan, Mark Dacascos, and Vincent Cassel
Runtime: 152 minutes
Rated: R

Monday, October 22, 2012

Scream Blacula, Scream..or Blacula Is One Bad Mutha...Shut yo' Mouth!

Filmed in 1973 at the height of the Blaxploitation film, a direct sequel to the 1972 hit "Blacula". This gem is full of horror, 70's goodness, and ass-kicking, not to mention voodoo, pimps getting their butts kicked, AND PAM GRIER! William Marshall starring in the title role brings character and a type of elegance this movie needs. This is one that if you have not seen it then I would say rush out and get it, you won't be disappointed.
 
Written by: Joan Torres, Raymond Koenig, and Maurice Jules
Directed by: Bob Kelljan
Starring: William Marshall, Don Mitchell, and Pam Grier
Runtime: 96 minutes
Rated: PG

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Black Sheep...where men are men and sheep are afraid!


WARNING: Here be spoilers ...go watch the movie...or just enjoy the ride...and then watch the movie!

Picture lush lands of green rolling hills. Picture gentle flocks of sheep frolicking, eating, doing sheep stuff. Now picture them as blood thirsty monsters...better yet picture them as smart, bloodthirsty, zombie sheep. God hope you don't get bitten, then you will slowly and painfully change into a bloodthirsty Were-Sheep. Bullets help, letting them drive helps, Mint Jelly burns them like holy water on a Vampire. And yes there is even a love story..sort of. There you have it...it's up to a small band of brave New Zealanders to save this farm and in turn THE WORLD.
 
Oldfield Farm..where Harry and Angus spent their childhood learning the family trade of raising and caring for God's gentlest creatures.  Harry is the golden child, winning awards, handling the raising of the sheep better and all around looking like he will be taking over the farm , instead of his older brother Angus. So Angus decides one day to get back at his little brother...by slaughtering Harry's pet sheep and wearing the carcass.
 
Fast forward a few years Harry (Nathan Meister) is returning to the farm he left. Angus (Peter Feeny) has taken over and is buying Harry out...of course Harry is more than fine with this, he has suffered from crippling fear of sheep since Angus' prank.
 
Of course we find that Angus behind the scenes has been doing a bit of genetic experimenting (that is NEVER good), to create the perfect lamb. He has hired the notorious, and very cocky, Dr.Rush (Tandi Wright), as his "Dr. Frankenstein".  Of course there is the inevitable lab accident, as a jar of a mutated sheep fetus is dropped, and this little bugger crawls his undead butt off into the woods.
Enter our Earth-Mother, peace loving, vegan activists...Grant (Oliver Driver) and Experience (Danielle Mason). These two want to of course shut down the big bad sheep farm and sneak on the farm to get evidence against Angus. One thing leads to another and these two get separated, after Grant was bit by our little undead fetus friend...remember him? And hilarity ensues....



Our little friend has been busy, his bites infect you with the zombie sheep disease, that was inadvertently created, and crawls on to find his next victim. First he bites Grant, who leaves his vegan lifestyle now to snack on bunny rabbits,as he begins to turn into a Were-sheep. Then our little bundle of woolly hell nips a couple of sheep, they nip a couple of friends, and they nip a couple of friends, and they nip a couple of friends, and so on....and soon everyone is running for their lives from blood thirsty cannibal zombie sheep (wow, never in my life did I think I would type those words in one sentence). 
So while our intrepid heroes...Harry and Experience are trying to save their skins...and in turn the world, with the help of the family housekeeper, Mrs. Mac (Glenis Levestam). Angus has been preparing for a meeting with sheep investors from around the globe, hide his experiments, and clean up the bite he receives on his hand. Those of us experienced in this genre know NONE of these things is going to work. 
 

 This of course brings us to the third act and the final showdowns (yes there is more than one). Harry fights off a 6 foot Were-sheep Grant, with the help of mint jelly, which burns our evil sheep creatures like holy water, and Experiences deadly acupuncture skills. Harry, Experience, and Mrs. Mac try and barricade themselves in the house while the sheep attack in a scene that is obviously a homage to "Night of the Living Dead", and Angus leaves to take his new "girlfriend" (see above pic), and spread his sheepy love to the world at large.
 
Harry, now having been bitten, rushes off to stop his brother in a fight worthy of Ali and Frazier, if they were sheep......all ends well sort of...Angus gets his just desserts, Harry is cured, the evil sheep destroyed, and Experience gets to find out what "Mountain Oysters" are. The world is once more safe from sheep...or is it?

All in all I really had a fun time with this movie. It took a original premise, mashed up with obvious tributes to some great zombie tropes, and came out the other end with something new, in a genre that can sometimes get very overdone. I would recommend this as a great get together film for people who love horror or zombie films, and even for those who love a good comedy, or both. I can honestly say this one is not BAAAAAAd and worth it's weight in wool (sorry about that folks...couldn't resist myself).
Black Sheep
Written by: Johnathan King
Directed by: Jonathan King
Produced by: Phillippa Campbell
Rating: NR
Runtime: 87 minutes
 
This recipe seemed fitting for those of us trying to save the world from the evil that is known as Mutton:
 
Rosemary Braised Lamb Shanks 
 

 Rosemary Braised Lamb Shanks Recipe
READY IN hrs
 
Ingredients 

Original recipe makes 6 servings

Directions
  1. Sprinkle shanks with salt and pepper. Heat oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Working in batches, cook shanks until brown on all sides, about 8 minutes. Transfer shanks to plate.
  2. Add onions, carrots and garlic to pot and saute until golden brown, about 10 minutes. Stir in wine, tomatoes, chicken broth and beef broth. Season with rosemary and thyme. Return shanks to pot, pressing down to submerge. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Cover, and simmer until meat is tender, about 2 hours.
  3. Remove cover from pot. Simmer about 20 minutes longer. Transfer shanks to platter, place in a warm oven. Boil juices in pot until thickened, about 15 minutes. Spoon over shanks.


Saturday, October 13, 2012

Teaching Mrs.Tingle or "Not Hot for Teacher"

Looking for a good thriller...I suggest steering clear of this one. Even though it has big names like Helen Mirren, Jeffrey Tambor, Vivica A. Fox, Molly Ringwald, and Michael McKean, there honestly is not much that could save this film. A predictable plot line, lackluster characters, and so many false scares makes this one that could definitely be missed. Written and directed by Kevin Williamson, you can absolutely see this as an extended episode of "Dawson's Creek".
 
Written by:Kevin Williamson
Directed by : Kevin Williamson
Runtime: 96 minutes
Rated: PG-13
 


30 Days of Night or "What Twilight Should Really Have Been Like"


When you were a kid you feared the dark. What seemed safe and cheery turned into something evil and menacing once the lights went out, every little bump and creak was that boogeyman in the closet coming out to get you and drag you away. How many of us turned that light off and made the running leap into the bed so the monster under there couldn't reach out and grab your ankles and pull you into the black, inky swirl that existed under there? We all knew you could cover yourself with the sheets and the monsters couldn't get you as long as you were under them.
    
Enter Steve Nile's 30 Days of night...this is not the typical vampire film we have had for our mainstay for the last 5-10 years. This story at it's time was something different than most of the vampire fare we had been getting. This is a balls to the wall, no doubt about it, straight up horror film. No tortured emo whining, no frilly puffy shirts, and these vampires do not in ANY way sparkle!
But more on that later.............   

 
Set in Barrow, Alaska, one of the few cities that get a month of little to no sun for an entire month in winter. The opening of the movie has a lone man trekking thru the snow, after what appears to be, rowing to shore from a tanker anchored off in the bay. We spend a couple of minutes watching his slough his way thru deep snow until he ends at the top of a hill overlooking Barrow. This is one of my favorites sections, visually, of the movie. As the camera tracks him it switches between long shots and close ups of his face, you never get a good look as to who he is until later in the movie. 
 
The next few scenes of the movie follow Eben (Josh Hartnett) ,the sheriff, and Billy (Manu Bennett), his deputy, as they try to prep the last few things before sunset. This routine is interrupted by some strange instances. The first being what appears to be a large mound of satellite phones that was burned, which they questions since if they were stolen most people would sell them, not burn them. They continue on with their duties, While we find more out about the characters through Eben and Billy's back and forth, including that all might not be well with Eben and Stella (Melissa George), his wife. The last thing the pair do before heading back to town is change the population on the city sign from 563 to 152 to reflect how many people stayed behind for the longest night of the year. ( Now for those score keepers out there pay attention to this number).
 
Basically from here things rapidly head downhill. Our mysterious stranger proceeds to kill every sled dog in town, someone disables the only helicopter by ripping it's blades and throttle off and throwing them in the Utilidor's giant crusher. These things seem to have no connection, but when you slow down and think about it the satellite phones are gone, the copter is gone,and the dogs are dead. Basically, this town is little by little being cut off from the outside...::insert dramatic creepy music here:: Finally our "Renfield" is caught and put in jail, and shortly after the computers, phones and electricity are taken out.
 
Enter the vampires. Now these are your touchy feely, sparkly, "I'm so tortured" vampires.
These are "I will f' you up for fun and then eat you", scary, toothy, evil S.O.B. vampires.
Basically take a shark, give it legs, and intelligence and there you go. Right about here this lovely little band or bloodsuckers proceeds to slaughter the town. And unlike most vampire films it's not sexy, and it's not to make more vamps. In fact Marlow (Danny Huston) gives specific instructions to remove the heads from the body so no one turns.After the initial massacre only a few people are left, including "Renfield" (Ben Foster) locked up in a cell. Of course he believes he is going to be "turned"as a reward, but since he was found out and captured Marlow decides to change the deal.

At this point we end up with just a few of our citizens left, and the vamps start to become a little more creative in their hunting.
 
After this, the movie becomes a little predictable, don't get me wrong that's not a bad thing, but most movies of this kind will work their way down to the inevitable showdown. The vampires know the buffet is coming to an end, as tomorrow the sun will come back up, so they decide to flood the town with oil from the nearby pipeline and burn the whole place to the ground. Eben figures out that the only way to end this is turn himself into one of the monsters, so injecting blood from a dead vamp into his arm he heads out to confront Marlow. After solidly getting his ass handed to him, Eben looks like he is down for the count, Marlow being the cocky creature he is leaps at Eben to deal the killing blow only to get Eben's fist planted solidly in his face.....thru the back of his head. I personally love this scene just for the looks on the remaining vamps' faces....a true "Oh shit!" look. Needless to say as Eben has proven himself as the alpha male the rest of the vamps.
 
This brings us to the end...and here we go scorekeepers...told you I wouldn't forget about you. We have a total of 5 survivors, not including Vampire Eben. Remember that number I told you to watch at the beginning...152? This means we had a body count of 147...THAT my friends is an impressive number by horror movie standards.
 
The last scene is a touching one. The sun is rising, and Eben knows there is only one solution to his new condition. Stella and Eben sit on the ridge where they spent their first date and watch as the sun comes up and Eben turns to ash.
 
 
 
So all in all, really enjoyed this film. It grabs you from the first shots, of that stark whiteness, to the last shot was the sun comes up. This is not your upbeat, happy, go- lucky film. It is dark, tense, and sometimes downright depressing. This film explores relationships, love, hate, community, the general theme of "what would you do" when it comes down to your well-being vs. the well being of the community. If you have not seen this film I would recommend that you go out and watch it now. If you REALLY enjoy it then run out and get either the graphic novels or the novels, hell get both, they are worth the read.
 
30 Days of Night-
Written by Steve Niles, Stuart Beattie, and Brian Nelson 
Directed by David Slade
Produced by Sam Raimi
Starring Josh Hartnett, Mellisa George, and Danny Huston
Rated R
Run time: 113 minutes
 
Now as a special treat for those of you who like to eat while you watch a movie here is a suggestion to keep in the theme of the movie:



 

Steak Bites With Bloody Mary Dipping Sauce


Steak Bites With Bloody Mary Dipping Sauce RecipeIngredients
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
1 small onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup vodka
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
2 teaspoons hot pepper sauce
1 cup tomato sauce
1 rounded tablespoon prepared horseradish
Salt and pepper
1 1/3 pounds beef sirloin cut into large bite-sized pieces, 1 by 2 inches
Steak seasoning blend or coarse salt and black pepper
6 to 8 inch bamboo skewers
Directions
  1. Heat a small saucepan over medium heat. Add oil and onions and saute 5 minutes.
  2. Add vodka and reduce by 1/2.
  3. Add Worcestershire, hot sauce, tomato sauce and horseradish. Stir to combine the dipping sauce and return the sauce to a bubble. Add salt and pepper and adjust seasonings.
  4. Heat nonstick skillet over high heat. Coat meat bites lightly in oil. Season with steak seasoning blend or salt and pepper, to taste.
  5. Cook the meat until caramelized all over, about 2 minutes on each side.
  6. Transfer dipping sauce to a small dish and place at the center of a serving platter. Surround the dip with meat bites and set several bamboo "stakes" or skewers along side meat.
Serves 6.


 
 
 
 Hope you enjoyed the first "Main Attraction", hope to have about two of these, at least, per month, as well as many "Mini-Reels" throughout the month as well. The "Minis" will be  reviews but more of a kamikaze in and out, one and done type of thing. Thanks for joining me and hope to see you next time!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

.AAAAND Action!

     Some of my fondest memories as a kid were going to the movies. Good times with friends and family, laughs, thrills, screams and chills. Whether it was "Blazing Saddles" as a kid with my parents ( and yes now I get that "scuse me while I whip this out" joke), going with my grandfather to the latest bad Stallone or Schwarzenegger movie just to see how many things blow up, to being scared for a month that the clown doll from "Poltergeist" was going to get me, movies can really create the memories, bonds, and feelings that can last a lifetime.
      So that leads us here....what is this all about. I want to share with you my love of movies, and not just one kind of a movie or another but ALL movies. Horror, sci-fi, comedies, action, chase, grindhouse, blaxploitation, suspense...you name it I want to bring it you. No country is safe either...Japan , USA, Norway, Germany, Italian, Australian....they make movies? We will go there at one time or another. There WILL be "spoilers" galore, so if you want to see the movie first then read, by all means do so. On the other hand if you just want to say " no worries", you have been warned.  So grab your bucket of that stale popcorn...ease your way down the that gooey aisle, find a seat, and travel down this rabbit hole with us all!

One note: in case of alien invasion, giant dinosaur attack, or zombie clown apocalypse, management is not responsible for any injuries that may occur...so please enjoy the movie.