Foxy Brown or Humina Humina Humina!

Take a slain undercover agent,his hot girlfriend swearing revenge by becoming an undercover hooker, gangsters, guns, cars and funky music...roll them together and what do you get? Foxy Brown!!! Originally meant to be a sequel of Coffy, the studio decided at the last minute that they didn't want to do a sequel, which is really puzzling since Coffy was a big hit. This movie has something for most audiences, and still holds up great today.

In an era where few films had a strong woman lead in an action film, this movie is a standout. Pam Grier in my opinion delivers an amazing performance. I remember the first time seeing this movie I was completely blown away, and it just seems to get better and better every time I see it. ( Not to mention that Pam Grier is so very hot in the movie) So anyone someone asks me for a great blaxpoitation action film I make sure this is at the top of the list. So my suggestion for this holiday season, run out and get this...granted it really doesn't have anything to do with the holidays, but it has Pam Grier (did I mention she's hot in this).

Foxy Brown

Directed by: Jack Hill
Written by: Jack Hill
Starring: Pam Grier, Antonio Fargas, and Peter Brown
Rated: R
Runtime: 94 minutes

The Black Hole...or Even Disney Can Be Dark

The year was 1979...Star Wars has already happened, Star Trek is coming out with the new movie, and Disney is in a slump. Ok granted this part of the story did happen before 1979...but anyway, we'll just pretend alright.  Sci-fi was coming to the forefront again and there was movie money to be made. Disney had yet to enter it's new era of the blockbuster animated film, and it's fans were growing up, so the decision was to make the first non-all-ages movie from Disney. The "Black Hole" is not your typical Disney movie. There are no talking animals, princesses who sing, or even a totally happy ending. Here we have death, dismemberment, "Zombies", robots, Heaven and Hell...even some language...super mild by today's standards, but before this, COMPLETELY unheard of in a Disney film. So grab your blaster, strap in and let's head down the hole.

 

THERE ARE SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT....YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED...NO WHINING OR WE THROW YOU OUT AN AIRLOCK!

 

We join the USS Palomino, in the year 2130,  heading home after a lengthy deep space exploration mission. On the crew we have Capt. Dan Holland, Lt. Charlie Pizer, Dr. Kate McCrae (by the way...she's also psychic), Dr. Alex Durant, reporter Harry Booth, and V.I.N.CENT (Vital Information Necessary CENTralized) , he's a robot voiced by Roddy McDowall by the way.

As they are heading back they find a black hole that has ship stationary on it's edge, somehow avoiding being sucked into the gaping maw. Further scans find that this is the USS Cygnus that went missing many years ago...oh and this is also the ship that Kate's father Frank McCrae served on. So of course you have to follow formula and they decide to check out the "ghost" ship. ::insert creepy Scooby-Doo music here::

Our intrepid crew docks and comes aboard to find Dr. Hans Reinhardt (Maximillian Schell), his crew of faceless "drones", robots, and the android bodyguard Maximillian. Reinhardt tells our heroes that the ship was disabled so he sent the crew back to Earth, but Kate's father stayed behind and has since died. Reinhardt explains that he has been studying the black hole for years and intends to fly the Cygnus though it. Durant is the only one who thinks this is possible, crazy right?!? But then again Durant is played by every one's favorite psycho Anthony Perkins.

The rest of the crew spends their time exploring the old ship...seeeeeeeee JUST like Scooby-Doo. They witness some rather odd things like drones limping, a drone "funeral", and the crew's quarters full of old personal belongings. B.O.B. (Bio-sanitation Battalion), a robot very similar to V.I.N.CENT just an older model, and who is more beat up more than that first 200.00 car you drove in high school, explains to the heroes that the "drones" are actually the original crew who never left but were actually lobotomized.  B.O.B. (who is voiced by Slim Pickens) reveals that the crew mutinied when Reinhardt revealed his "Mad Scientist" plan to fly into the black hole. It is also revealed that Kate's dad led the rebellion and was killed.  V.I.N.CENT. tells Kate via telepathy ( I know...just go with it, ok) all of this. Kate then tells Durant who removes a "drone"'s faceplate revealing the withered"zombie" crew member. Durant and Kate try to flee and Maximillian kills Durant, by the most bloodless evisceration EVER, and Kate is taken to be lobotomized.

Captain Holland ( Robert Forster) rescues Kate (Yvette Mimieux) at the last minute, Harry Booth (Ernest Borgnine) panics and attempts to flee in the Palomino but is shot down by the Cygnus. This causes the Palomino to crash into the Cygnus damaging it's port side gravity nullifier, and then to add insult to injury a random meteor storm takes out the starboard side one. Now without being able to nullify the gravity from the black hole the Cygnus is beginning to be pulled in and pulled apart.

 

Our remaining crew, Holland, Pizer, McCrae, V.I.N.CENT., and B.O.B. head to a pre-programmed probe-ship to escape. Reinhardt is thinking the same thing and sends Maximillian to stop them. Reinhardt ends up being pinned by falling debris in the bridge, while his "drones" work on and ignore his plight. Maximillian tries to stop the crew, and cripples B.O.B. before V.I.N.CENT. cripples him. Maximillian is sucked out of the ship and is last seen drifting off into space. The crew and V.I.N.CENT make it to the probe and find out it is pre-programmed to fly into the black hole.

The epilogue of the film has no dialogue as the crew enters the hole. They (and we) are shown scenes via Kate's ESP of Heaven and Hell. First they travel through Hell as they see Reinhardt and Maximillian  merge into one being, while standing on top of a huge rock, above a fiery landscape that appears to be populated with the "drones". Next, they enter Heaven....a crystal church-like tunnel with a floating "Angel". Finally they come out the other side of a "white hole" near a star and a planet. The movie ends here showing the probe heading towards the planet.

This has been a favorite of mine since it came out, I was 10 at the time ( this will be our secret, ok?). I first saw this on the big screen, and then later we owned it on Beta-max (for you young-un's out there Beta was what lost out to VHS, kinda like Blu-ray and HD DVD's), and then later on VHS. I honestly can't remember how many times I have seen this movie, and it never seems to lose it's charm for me. I have as of yet to acquire it on DVD, but I guarantee I will one day and will probably find a way to wear out the DVD. This really was groundbreaking for Disney, they showed here with this movie that they could run with the "big boys" and make movies other than kiddie cartoons. I honestly believe that if it were not for this film we would not have had cult hits like "Tron", "The Watcher in the Woods" or "Dragonslayer". I know today these seem like nothing, but back in 1979 this was really the "loss" of Disney's "innocence" as they grew-up and moved on into the "real world". If you can find this one, pick it up and watch it, I really think you won't be disappointed.

The Black Hole
Written by: Jeb Rosebrook and Bob Barbash
Directed by: Gary Nelson
Starring:  Maximillian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Yvetter Mimieux, Ernest Brognine, Roddy McDowall, and Slim Pickens
Rated: PG
Runtime: 98 minutes

This just seems fitting as accompaniment to the movie:

Dark Chocolate Mousse

Ingredients:

4 1/2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped

2 tablespoons (1 ounce) unsalted butter, diced

2 tablespoons espresso or hot water

1 cup cold heavy cream

3 large eggs, separated

1 tablespoon sugar

Preparation: Combine the chocolate, butter, and espresso in the top of a double boiler over hot, but not simmering, water, stirring frequently until smooth. Remove from the heat and let cool until the chocolate is just slightly warmer than body temperature. To test, dab some chocolate on your bottom lip. It should feel warm. If it is too cool, the mixture will seize when the other ingredients are added.

Meanwhile, whip the cream to soft peaks, then refrigerate. Once the melted chocolate has cooled slightly, whip the egg whites in a medium bowl until they are foamy and beginning to hold a shape. Sprinkle in the sugar and beat until soft peaks form.

When the chocolate has reached the proper temperature, stir in the yolks. Gently stir in about one-third of the whipped cream. Fold in half the whites just until incorporated, then fold in the remaining whites, and finally the remaining whipped cream.

Spoon or pipe the mousse into a serving bowl or individual dishes. Refrigerate for at least 8 hours. (The mousse can be refrigerated for up to a day.)

or if you prefer liquid refreshment.......

Black Hole recipe

1/3 oz Bacardi 151 rum
1/3 oz Chartreuse herbal liqueur (strongest available)
1/3 oz Black Sambuca

Add your 151 and Chartreuse first then gently add the Sambuca. It will sit at the bottom whilst the 151 and chart' cloud it with a hazy look.. looking down at the shot looks like a misty black hole.

Santa's Slay or Seriously You Better Watch Out....

Take one son of Satan, make him lose a wager (a curling match to be exact), with an angel. So as punishment for losing he is forced for the next 1000 years to hand out gifts and presents to children. So here we are at Hell Township, modern day, and Santa is getting himself a little payback. Flying through town on his rocket propelled sleigh with killer "reindeer" (it's actually an ox), Santa proceeds to kill anyone and everyone in the most festive of Yuletide ways, making use of ornaments, eggnog, candy canes and all that ilk. All of this culminates in a great showdown with a twist that is really not that surprising if you're paying attention.

All in All I LOVE this film! It is one that you need to go into realising it is a Black Comedy/ Horror movie that has as much enjoyment in making fun of itself as it does giving winks to the film/TV buffs in the audience. This movie made a huge selling point by having one of the most famous Jewish wrestlers out there to play Santa, and he is perfect here. If you watch closely you will see other big named Jewish actors in the movie as well including :  James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and Rebecca Gayheart. This movie has gone down as a definite one in my Holiday rotation. so next time you and the family get together for Holiday get together pop this one in, get your cookies, and enjoy!

Written by:Dave Steinman
Directed by: Dave Steinman
Starring: Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie de Ravin
Rated : R
Runtime: 78 minutes

The Machinist or How One Moment Can Change Everything

Trevor Reznik (played by Christian Bale) hasn't slept in over a year. He works in a factory as a lathe operator, and seems to be something of a loner. The other coworkers don't trust him, and then eventually turn on him, due to him causing a coworker to lose an arm in a machine accident. Trevor slowly has been spiraling into madness over the last year. Losing weight, hallucinating and becoming paranoid at the possibility that his coworkers are out to get him. All of this culminates in an ending that will shock and amaze you.

This movie in my opinion is truly on of Bales' greatest films. Starving himself to lose over 60 pounds for this movie, he creates a character that truly is haunting to look at and whose behaviors really show you the depth of madness guilt can create. I am really surprised as to how many people have never seen or even heard of this movie. I absolutely believe if you haven't seen this one, go out this very second, and find it!